It's Power Taft Gurl: October 2008

Am I strong enough, or am I just accepting?

>> Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I come to a conclusion that the lines between strong and accepting is very thin.

When we fall, it feels so good to enjoy the pain. We can cried all night long and begin crying again at the first thing in the morning. But when we tired of crying, we begin to look for another ‘point of view’. Something, that can makes us forget about our fall. Activities, hang around, jokes with friend, study, such things will really help us to get through.

But one day, we’ll realize that we’re just running away. And unfortunately, we’re running away in circles. No matter where we go, the pain just leaves scar. And what we’re trying to do for so long is just running around that scar while keeping our heads not to looking at it. But still, it’s bleed.

When something hit our heads hardly so that we unexpectedly see the scar, then we’ll stop running. Next thing we do is just sit back and admire the scar, surprised that it’s already take that long but the scar just looks like new. And the pain still that damn hurt.

And then, if we’re not insane enough to keep glaring at the scar with tears coming down like a river, we can see our path, clearly, circling the scar. But never leave, even heal the scar.

So when we begin to stand and erased our own tears, just look around us once again. We’ll find that we might be just wasting time for unimportant things while running away, just to get something to do. That way, we gotta make a choice. Continuing running in that circles, or healing the scar first, so we don’t have to hide from it.

If we choose to running in that circles, then we gotta be stupid. But if we try to heal the scar, then be careful. You know, it's a SCAR. It won't leaves that easily. But we have another two choices. Being an acceptant, or being strong. If we choose to accept the scar, then it doesn’t matter whether the scar is still there or not. Because, when we walk-not in the path we’ve made- and suddenly we step on the scar, it will still hurts. But because we already know it, then we’re much better prepared for it. We’ll feel the pain, that’s for sure. And we’ll keep continuing that way.

But if we choose to be strong, than we don’t mind that there’s a scar. Because we know, with that scar, we’ll know which way we should and should not take. And when the time comes to touch the scar a little bit, we already immune of it. Not immune that we’re not feeling it, but it’s what makes us strong. We don’t have to do anything stupid or unimportant things in our way on the future just to forget that the scar exist. It won’t matter how much or how less activities we’re doing. Because we have our own way, and it’s not circles. We don’t have to feel the pain every time we walk and unintended touch the scar. Because we’re strong. The scar have left us power. Toughness.

So, when I choose to left those unimportant things that I did while I was running away, I got scared. I believe that I can do this. But somehow, I think I’m just accepting. The pain’s still there. But one thing for sure. This is not the point where I’ll stop. This is the point where I’ll begin.

a friend in need is a friend indeed...

>> Monday, October 20, 2008

find me here
speak to me
i want to feel you
i need to hear you
you are the light
that is leading me
to the place where
i find peace again
you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting
you are the life to my soul
you calm the storms
you give me rest
you hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall
you still my heart
you are all i need

anotHer stupid VoiceS,,

>> Sunday, October 19, 2008

banyak hal yang terjadi dalam hidup kita sebenarnya merupakan kejadian 'berulang'.
sebuah hubungan sebab akibat.
sebuah pelajaran yang terkadang tidak akan terlihat hikmahnya hanya dalam satu kejadian.

we are tough.
karena itulah kita masih di sini.
entah tegak atau tidak.
tapi,, "apa yang tidak membunuhmu akan menguatkanmu"..

semua hal yang pernah terjadi dalam hidup kita,, itulah yang membentuk kita sekarang.
kita pernah disakiti,, sadarkah? kita pun pernah menyakiti.
kita pernah dibenci,, sadarkah? kita pun pernah membenci.
karena apa yang kita rasakan pun juga dirasakan oleh orang lain.
karena kita semua manusia.
karena kita semua punya hati. otak. mata, telinga, dan semua alat indera yang bisa merasakan.

jatuh.
siapa yang tidak pernah jatuh?
tapi tahukah?
kita tidak akan pernah bangkit jika kita tidak jatuh.

kehilangan.
kita sering kehilangan,..
entah kehilangan sesuatu yang berharga ataupun hanya sesuatu yang kecil.
tapi,, bahkan saat ini pun kita sedang kehilangan waktu,.. waktu terus berjalan.
jangan pernah diam. waktu tidak pernah menunggu.
kehilangan seseorang,,
perih,.. tapi tahukah? kita merasa kehilangan agar kita sadar bahwa kita memiliki.
agar kita lebih menghargai apa yang kita miliki saat ini.

kita menonton 'anger management' dan tertawa terpingkal-pingkal ataupun ikut emosi bersama Dave Buznik (Adam Sandler).
tapi tahukah rasanya berada di posisinya?? kesabaran itu susah, kawan..
dan mungkin ada beberapa dari kita yang sulit untuk bertahan di kondisi itu.

kita menonton 'click' dan menangis karena pelajaran berharga di dalamnya,, menghargai waktu, keluarga..
tapi pernahkah kita benar-benar belajar?

jika semua hal itu tidak terjadi langsung di dalam hidup kita...
akankah kita belajar?

bangkitlah!!!!
lihatlah di sekelilingmu,,
masih ada sahabat,, keluarga,, bahkan Yang Maha Esa yang tidak akan pernah meninggalkan kita..

karena tiap orang adalah orang yang tangguh.
hanya saja kita terlalu rendah hati untuk menyadarinya.

thankZ a lot,, bwt my Sist..
Power_taFt_guRl..

you guys keep me alive..